What are the chances that the one we desire to be with... Is already taken by another? Quite possible, no? Yes, I'm talking about unrequited love. Unrequited to the greatest extent. Desiring someone else's companion. No matter how we try to deny it, we all have been in that situation where we have a yearning for someone that is unattainable.
Some may have denied it.
Some may have even embraced it.
And some, like myself, fall right in the middle.
Between the pain and the pleasure.
Between the suffering and the satisfaction.
Between the guilt and the desire.
So, what happened?
Well. I gave in to the desire.
And then?
It may have been the best decision of my life.
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"I'm sorry."
That's really all I can say at this point.
Because we all know that nothing will help anymore.
I've done something I can never revert back.
The choices I made were neither selfish nor selfless.
It wasn't because I wanted this to happen.
I didn't know what else to do.
You've been playing this game for a long while.
And me?
It's for the first time.
I tried to amend for it.
I tried to turn it around.
Yet, how could I keep resisting myself from such temptation?
The urge increased, day by day.
I kept telling myself to stop.
But he came on so strong, every single second.
Like a drug coursing through my vein.
And before I knew it, he was already a part of me.
I couldn't afford to lose him now.
But I couldn't deal with the guilt I felt either.
At this crossroad, there were choices.
There were choices but no clear consequences.
So I did all I could do at that moment.
I chose.
And now, every night I hope.
I hope that I would never, ever regret my choice.
And I also hope that I'll one day be forgiven again.
Forgiven for my inconsiderate reasons.
For my ignorance.
For choosing to feel alive.
